Madonnas texts to Guy

Madonna has been sending estranged husband Guy Ritchie strange text messages.

40, showed some of the messages to the crew on his latest film
'Sherlock Holmes' - which he is currently shooting in Manchester,
England - and one of them is believed to have warned "you're going

The director reportedly told a friend: "This is her idea
of a joke - but it's not funny. Imagine what it was like living with

Madonna, 50, has reportedly sent a host of similar texts
to Guy since announcing their split two weeks ago, blaming him for
leaking details of the breakdown in their marriage.

source added to Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper: "She loves to wind
Guy up and this is just another example of her oddball humour. He
doesn't take these things too seriously. If he did, it would drive him

It was reported Madonna made an emotional plea to Guy to
settle their divorce out of court - the first direct contact she has
had with the film director since they split - earlier this week.

source said: "Madonna tried to remind Guy of all the good times, said
how they must settle before it got any more messy and public. She said
she had been saddened by some of the criticisms of her which appeared
to have come from his camp."

Madonna and Guy's lawyers are still
negotiating the details of the divorce, after the filmmaker reportedly
turned down a £20 million settlement offer.

The 'RocknRolla'
director insists his main concern is securing access to the children
they raise together - Lourdes, 11, Rocco, eight and David Banda, three.

children are with Madonna on her 'Sticky and Sweet' tour at the moment,
but due to be reunited with Guy soon, although Madonna will reportedly
not be at the handover.

LA Tickets for sale

From: Lydia <TheAbyssCo@aol.com>

i just wanted to madonnasworld fans know that I have a pair of fan club tickets for M's LA show this coming Thursday that I need to sell ASAP. they are for front field/floor section F3, Row 22.
this section is in front of the stage.
my costs was $377 for each ticket

please contact lydia if you are interested.

Where Madonna Does it Better

Atlantic City Reminder

Madonna's "Sticky and Sweet Tour"


Madonna, the multi-Grammy Award winning artist, recent inductee into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and world's tastiest sweetheart, returns to Boardwalk Hall to showcase new material from her "Hard Candy" album that features her smash single "4 Minutes". Madonna and famed director and long-time collaborator Jamie King are creating an extraordinary never-before seen stage set, groundbreaking audio and eye popping visual effects. Madonna will be joined onstage with a new band and 18 dancers that reaffirm that this is one event that Madonna fans cannot miss.

For complete tour and ticket information, visit Tickemaster.com

Tickets are priced at $350, $250, $150 and $50.Presented by Caesars Atlantic City.

Sticky and Sweet Vancouver opening night REVIEWED!

VANCOUVER - It is perhaps fitting that the first Madonna show in Vancouver falls on the night before Halloween.

Out on the streets, the pre-show dinner crowd resembles nothing so much as a Night of the Living Sex and the Cities, where pods of elaborately turned-out thirtysomething women range the sidewalks, three and four abreast, the sound of giggly, two-Chardonnay laughter and spike heels ringing out in the Autumn night. Eerily, the male half of the city seems to have disappeared, though some of the gaggles of girls have a token guy in tow. Inside the stadium, the haze of ladies is even thicker. Indeed, some of the men in the crowd seem to have kitted themselves in some fabulous women's wear as well. Two hours before the Queen of Pop is due to hit the stage, the air is thick with estrogen and sparkles. It is, pardon the pun, a strange Madge-ic to witness

At 9:30, just an hour after she's scheduled to perform, the stage flanked by hot pink curtains bedazzled with $2-million worth of Swarovski crystals, comes alive with a bombast of visuals and driving beats, relentlessly teasing until She appears, brandishing a sceptre and draped lasciviously across a throne.

Opening with "Candy Shop" from her most recent album, the arrival of Madonna in Vancouver, after 25 years of patient waiting, was every thing a fan could hope for. Clad in a revealing black leotard, flanked by an army of androgynous dancers and brandishing her infamously toned body like a particularly sexy weapon, the iconic 50-year-old was, well, an icon.

As if there was any doubt, the show was an eye-popping capital-s Spectacle with countless sets and costume changes. With almost ruthless efficiency, the hits were picked off one by one - a Rolls Royce (complete with a fake Kanye West as its passenger) for the recent single "Beat Goes On,"  a guitar and sequined top hat for "Human Nature," a bevy of lithe dancers performing the unforgettable choreography from "Vogue," a boxing ring sprung out of nowhere for "Die Another Day," a stripper pole for the singalong of "Into the Groove" - all seeming to go by in seconds. As with all things Madge, it was a show that positively bombarded the audience with stimulus. Make no mistake: Madonna will entertain you come hell or high water.

Perhaps the strangest number of the evening was "She's Not Me" in which the furious-looking singer was surrounded by dancers dressed as various versions of her throughout her career. One by one she berated them physically, ripping off Marilyn wigs and slapping cone bras. It was a jaw- dropping stunt and the first moment she seemed to connect emotionally with her songs. As disconcerting as it was to see, the indomitable pop star seemed for all the world like a woman scorned. As if it wasn't clear already, the song laid it bare: you do not want to piss off the Queen.

From then on the performance loosened a bit - the pace less hectic, and the once-Material Girl seeming to enjoy herself, especially during the campy fun of "Music."

If Madonna's astonishing work ethic was evident in every choreographed step, it was admirable but also somehow tragic. The most famous woman in the world seemed very alone onstage, surrounded by accesories but seemingly intimate only with her own drive. It was only a brief moment, observable only to a keen eye, but it resonated.

Of course, before you could contemplate it, Madonna was performing another spectacular feat, working the crowd with all her heart. If she wasn't so dazzling, you might wish she'd keep a little for herself.


NYPost on M and A rod meeting

IT was like a scene out of a James Bond movie last week, as Madonna and Alex Rodriguez secretly jetted off in two private helicopters for a quick and cozy rendezvous in the Hamptons, Page Six has learned.

Play our new Madonna Pop Video Quiz

Instead of booking a motel room, the two headed straight to Jerry Seinfeld's waterfront mansion, where they relaxed in luxury for several hours.

"The Seinfelds have been friends with Madonna for years. They're
neighbors on the West Side, so it's really no surprise," said an
insider. "And Jerry and [wife] Jessica go to her concerts whenever she's in town."

Our spies say the clandestine East End meeting between
soon-to-be-divorced Madge and freshly single A-Rod occurred on Oct. 21.
A chopper carrying the Yankee slugger was seen landing in East Hampton,
where he was picked up in a white Porsche 911 matching the description
of Jessica's car.

Less than 40 minutes later, another helicopter that took off from
Chelsea Piers with Madonna aboard landed at the same airstrip.

"A dark SUV and Jerry in another Porsche both pulled up and picked
up Madonna and they headed back to Jerry's place," a witness told us.
"When they arrived at the Seinfeld home, Madonna poked her head out the
window and could be clearly seen."

It's not known what the Bronx Bomber, 33, and the Material Mom, 50
- who insist they are just friends - did during their stay at
Seinfeld's 12-acre spread.

"About four hours later, the dark SUV left the house and took them
all back to the airport. Madonna and the Seinfelds could clearly be
seen getting out and piling into the copter that had taken Madonna
there in the first place. They left together," our witness said.
"Several minutes later, the helicopter that carried A-Rod also left."

Reps for Jerry Seinfeld and A-Rod had no comment. Madonna's flack said she was unaware of the meeting.


Brazil is getting ready to see Madonna

check out angels jacket,
mikey and marc singing HOLIDAY
and Michele is in too
and the 1 and only antBOGGIE!

Madonna borrows liberally from Three's Company

Film Review by : The Globe and Mail

In her press notes to Filth and Wisdom, her first film
as a director, Madonna says she has always been inspired by the films
of Godard, Visconti, Pasolini and Fellini, but she fails to acknowledge
her most obvious artistic influence. Her film - a wacky tale of three
roommates, two gals and one guy, who share an apartment and get up to
all kinds of naughty mischief, while dreaming of their futures - is
clearly indebted to the seventies sitcom Three's Company.

Madonna repatriated the series (it was originally a British series called Man about the House) by moving it to London and updating a few details.

The male roommate is named A.K. (Eugene Hutz, front man of the
gypsy-punk band Gogol Bordello). Gangly, swaggering and mustachioed,
he's a sexy version of Borat, similarly given to absurd malapropisms
("Look who dragged in the cat!") and introducing sentences with the
phrase, "In my country, we have a saying. . . ." A.K. is the narrator
of our story who explains its moral: "Filth and weesdom . . . two sides
of same coin." (Is it possible Madonna was thinking of the Queen and
the beaver on the Canadian nickel?) A.K. wants to be a rock star (there
are many cutaways to Hutz's boisterous band), but has a side gig
dressing up in costumes and humiliating men for their sexual pleasure
and, presumably, our laughs.

The equivalent to Three's Company's Chrissie (who was played
by Suzanne Somers) is the sweet but dim Holly (Holly Weston), an
aspiring ballet dancer who inspires A.K.'s romantic side. At his
suggestion, she starts making a living stripping at a grubby nightclub
to show off her premium body.

The other flat mate is the gloomy career girl, Juliette, who endures
the attentions of her middle-aged Indian boss (Inder Manocha) at the
pharmacy where she works and steals drugs, while she dreams of going to
Africa to save babies. "She doesn't know she's starving too," A.K. says.

Astute Madonna scholars will note how she and co-scriptwriter Dan
Cadan (a crew member with Madonna's soon-to-be ex-husband, filmmaker
Guy Ritchie) have reconfigured each of these characters as aspects of
the Madonna persona: rock star with a flare for gay kink, blond
exhibitionist, African baby saver.

But where, you must be asking, is Mr. Roper who lives downstairs?
That role is played by Richard E. Grant, although this time his
frustration is more creative than erotic. The character is Professor
Flynn, a poet, who gave up his art when he lost his eyesight and now
sits in his padded armchair wearing a wistful smile while making
half-hearted come-ons to A.K., who runs errands for him. Grant's
performance is awful, which is a shame since he is also the best actor
in the film.

Reportedly, the movie began life as a short film, and if it actually
ran for 22 minutes with a few commercial breaks, like a good sitcom
should, Filth and Wisdom could be bearable. At 84 minutes, the
movie feels both overpadded and underdeveloped. Apart from Holly
learning to enjoy stripping by mimicking a Britney Spears video, it's
not apparent that any of the characters learns anything. Instead of
character development, we get lots of montages - A.K. trying to market
his band's CD; Holly and her friends, in underwear, practising dancing.
Instead of jokes, we get ethnic slurs (the Indian is called Randy
Gandhi, the Ukrainian "Russky," and a Jewish man who likes being
smacked, "Rothschild.")

When it comes to wisdom, the best line - actually the only good line
- is this bit of sad sex-worker insight: "The problem with having a
cash box in your body is that you always feel empty even when it's
full." As for the filth in Filth and Wisdom, there's no more than a whiff of it, and it's rapidly smothered in a deodorizer of sentimental cliché.


Kabbalah brokering Madonna divorce

Senior members of the kabbalah church are helping Guy Ritchie and Madonna negotiate a quick divorce.

Senior members of the kabbalah church are helping Guy Ritchie and Madonna negotiate a quick divorce.Madonna and Guy Ritchie’s divorce settlement is being helped along by senior members of the Kabbalah church, sources have told the Daily Mail.
“Rabbi Berg [the religion’s most senior member] has now given Madonna a
24-hour deadline to come back to him with a plan to mediate towards a
swift divorce resolution using a round-table of kabbalah leaders
chaired by him,” an insider claims. “Berg's ultimate hope would be a
reconciliation. But that seems rather a distant hope.” The source also
said Guy could do better out of any deal the leaders suggest, rather
than through a standard divorce hearing. “Kabbalah might also give Guy
better access [to the couple’s children] than British law might. Let us
not to forget that Guy and Rabbi Berg were also very close. Guy really
studied kabbalah. There was a feeling in certain quarters that
Madonna's interest in kabbalah was linked more to her ego. Guy, on the
other hand, was more interested in the fundamentals of it, in
dissecting it. Consequently he had a much greater intellectual bond
with the kabbalah leaders.”


Finally, Madonna gets some respect for her directorial debut

2 1/2 stars!!

if reading juicy details about Madonna and Guy Ritchie's divorce isn't
awkward enough, now the couple has competing movies opening on the same

Ritchie has “RocknRolla,” a film about – surprise! – thugs in
London. Meanwhile, Madonna's directorial debut, “Filth and Wisdom,” is
about working folks in London (which is totally different than thugs).

given Madonna's infamous history with film (“Swept Away,” “Who's That
Girl?”) it would seem that her movie-directing ex would have the upper
hand in the battle for the box office.

But let's not forget Madonna's smarter choices.

“Desperately Seeking Susan” and “A League of Their Own?” Or even the
not-so-terrible “Evita,” which earned her a Golden Globe. For acting.

So, it's not totally incomprehensible that a movie directed by the Material Girl can actually be pretty good.

one thing, Madonna made the wise decision not to star in it. Besides a
few songs, she's never on screen. Her name doesn't even pop up until
the closing credits.

Instead, she's turned the spotlight on
Eugene Hutz, the lanky lead singer of the Gypsy-punk band Gogol
Bordello who starred as Alex in “Everything Is Illuminated” in 2005.

plays AK, a grimy, poetry-spouting musician who loves sitting in an
empty bath tub and speaking straight into the camera. The narration is
an annoying and frequently used gimmick, but Hutz is so fun to watch
you forgive it after a while.

Here's where the Madonna stamp
comes in: AK earns a living by acting out erotic fetishes for mostly
homosexual customers. It tries to be shocking, especially with all that
pony play, but it comes across as a bit 1990s.

AK lives with a
ballerina-turned-stripper, Holly (Holly Weston), as well as a
pill-stealing pharmacist, Juliette (Vicky McClure). The dysfunctional
trio deals with their own disturbing issues, but are bonded in
friendship by their lack of money.

Juliette, like Madonna, has an
obsessive desire to help African children, a cause that may or may not
stem from an abusive father. Holly has to learn to be a stripper both
in mind and body, so we're treated to uncomfortable, voyeuristic shots
of her slithering on a pole.

And AK is trying to find his place
as an artist, so he idolizes his blind novelist neighbor. But he mostly
struggles to rid himself of his demons and make it as a musician.

The plot isn't the most earth-shattering stuff, but Madonna makes it so that you're intrigued and interested in her characters.

more fascinating is that the most famous person in the world (well,
isn't she?) could have spent tons of money getting A-list actors and
impeccable sets.

Instead, she cast unknowns and gave the film a
gritty, realistic feeling. It can almost be mistaken for one of those
lonely Vincent Gallo films.

As Madonna, she may not live in a
crowded London apartment or visit a neighborhood pharmacy, but she
translated her surroundings in a way that's believable rather than
cartoony (which Ritchie's films tend to be).

“Filth and Wisdom”
isn't a masterpiece. In fact, most critics hated it. But it's a much
more interesting glimpse of Madonna than those paparazzi shots of yoga
lessons and macrobiotic meals.

 source: San Diego Union Tribune

Madonna reaches out to Guy

Madonna has reportedly spoken to estranged husband Guy Ritchie for the first time in weeks in an attempt to settle their divorce out of court.

The 50-year-old singer – who announced earlier this month she and Guy are splitting after nearly eight years of marriage – is believed to have made an emotional phone call to the director on Tuesday night to come to an amicable agreement about the separation.

A source told the MailOnline website: "It was a very emotional call and a sign of the desperation Madonna feels for them to settle before things start getting more serious legally.

"Madonna tried to remind Guy of all the good times, said how they must settle before it got any more messy and public. She said she had always worked so hard to provide for the family. She said she had been saddened by some of the criticisms of her which appeared to have come from his camp."

Madonna, who raises three children with Guy, was reportedly encouraged to contact her estranged spouse by her Kabbalah spiritual leader Rabbi Berg.

Berg wants the couple to remain on speaking terms so the reputation of Kabbalah, a mystical offshoot of Judaism, is not damaged.

A source close to Madonna said after the tearful conversation, the singer cried openly in front of her staff for the first time, after the strain of their bitter split took its toll.


San Diego Reports on 'slow' ticket sales? Yeah , right

Everyshow that I have been to so far, there has not been 1 empty seat in the building:

So take this 'report' with a grain of salt:

"Most music biz experts doubt that Live Nation – which subsequently
signed U2, Jay-Z and the Jonas Brothers to lucrative 360 contracts of
their own – will be able to recoup its investment in Madonna. Consider
that only a fraction of the arena and stadium dates on her ongoing,
49-date tour have sold out.'



Concert review: Madonna

She knows she can do it better and she does.

Whether a high-powered fashionista or a modern rendition of the Madonna
with child, Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone is the ultimate female
performer. Her staggering success is fuelled in part by her
she-iconology -- the world continues to be dazzled by her well-crafted
multifaceted persona. And Madonna loves two things most: her vagina and
a crowd.

At 50, far past the ideal age of a pop star and with many other pop
tarts cooking in the oven looking to be the next Madonna, does her
Madgesty still reign supreme on her 2008 Sticky and Sweet Tour?

Madonna returned to Toronto to play two sold-out shows on Oct 18 and
19. As a devout fan for many years, I was hysterical when I watched her
show on the second night at the Air Canada Centre.

This was the fourth time that I have seen Madonna live, and the energy
buzzing in the air surpassed any concert I have ever attended. This was
my first time sitting in floor seats. I literally felt as though I was
an extension of the stage and an interactive part of Madonna's

When I got through the initial shock of realizing my main source of
creative provocation was merely 23 rows from me I, alongside many of
her fans, waited anxiously to rampage through her store of candy

Madonna entered the Air Canada Stage on an "M"-marked pimp throne with
"Candy Shop," the title track off her latest studio album Hard Candy.
In the words of Dee Daly, 28, a first-time Madonna attendee, she
entered in true M form, "with her legs spread open and ready to go."

But Daly felt that, compared to her entrance on her last Confessions
Tour -- in a Swarovski-covered discoball -- this wasn't Madonna at her
most stunning.

Perhaps her appearance was more subdued, but Madonna was still lathered
in bling. Images of colourful candy rolled across the giant screens
while the crowd roared with enthusiasm at the sight of the
five-foot-two-inch icon. M wore a simple black lace bodysuit, a pair of
stiletto knee-high black boots, black gloves and swung around a black
cane while exclaiming, "My sugar is raw!"

Sticky and Sweet featured six gigantic screens gracing the main stage
that revealed an array of bouncy slogans that the Toronto crowd chanted
aloud while images of religious symbolism, racial diversity,
destitution and war acted like a news flashes.

Her show is a sensory overload; you just don't know where to look.

The costuming this tour was not up to par with the extravagant and
sensational outfits she usually performs in. "I understand the childish
nature of the concept of a candy shop, and the innocence of a child in
shorts," said Daly, "but the costuming overall was not that amazing."

My favourite ensemble was the black dress with scattered neon jewelry
and thigh-high boots -- playful and original yet sophisticated. Madonna
continues to amplify the presence of female sexuality in her
performances; she has always been an unapologetic sex siren. While some
critics feel she is too old to wear bodysuits and prance around
carelessly in gym shorts, I hope I have half that sexual confidence at
the half-decade mark.

Madonna has featured her political opinions in all her shows since The
Drowned World Tour of 2000. This time Mahatma Ghandi, Martin Luther
King Jr and Barak Obama were flashed as light against dark images of
Adolf Hitler and John McCain.

It's obvious how the Madgical one will be voting this US election.

"She was performing and we were listening," said Daly. "When Madonna
speaks her audience listens." The crowd reacted with loud screams.

Filipe Silva, 30, has seen Madonna live two times before. He likens her
concerts to "going to visit mama," where audience members get off at
being schooled through Madonna shouting commands such as, "Don't sit
their like a silly girl," and "No ones gonna show you how!"

Typically Madonna doesn't really incorporate other artists in her
concerts; clearly she loves being the sole point of attention, besides
the décor of her dancers. This time, however, M acknowledged the
producers from her last album. A virtual Timbaland appeared to
freestyle during an introduction to "4 Minutes" while Justin Timberlake
was brought to life on smaller sliding screens that Madonna mounted and
danced beside during the duet.

My favourite cameo was Pharrell Williams in throwback '80s
synthesizer-filled "Beat Goes On" with the hip-hop flavours of Kanye
West lacing the track. The energy on the song perfectly matched the
energy onstage.

A virtual Britany Spears also appeared in a remixed version of "Human Nature."


One of the more novel visual elements was a massive chandelier screen
that lowered to pour raindrops before Madonna in a black cape appeared
enclosed in the screen to sing her first ballad "The Devil Wouldn't
Recognize You." 

Musically all Madonna concerts bring an interesting mix of old and new
-- but the catch for her devoted fans is that she always reinvents her
old tracks.

"Vogue" sampled with "4 Minutes" and a house version of "Like a Prayer"
brought the desired Madonna dance fever. "Like a Prayer" was Daly's
favourite performance; it reminded her of the classical moment in the
controversial video when a back-up singer places her hand on M's
forehead before breaking it down with the choir. "It was like in church
and all of a sudden Jesus came to talk to us," said Daly.

Standing strong Madonna also ripped a rocking version of "Borderline"
surprising the crowd. A dance circle gathered for a folk version of "La
Isla Bonita" that showed off a beautiful female flamenco dancer, while
M rested on a stool and sang with a smile.

That was Silva's favourite because the arrangement was so different
from the recorded version. It felt reminiscent of an authentic Spanish

M gave us something new to suck on, but the taste was familiar.

Can she still dance? Yes, Madonna danced hard for the entire show and
proved that though she is 50, she can keep up with inconceivable
choreography thrown at her.

Then again Madonna can do no harm to her dedicated fans. The woman
could show up in baggy sweat pants and strike one pose and people would
freak out.

Madonna has proven herself to be the most potent and enduring female
symbol. After 25 years performing she continues to give it to us with
everlasting vigour and dedication. Love or hate her, you will pay

Surely by now Madonna should be promoted from Queen of Pop to the
Almighty of Pop. With a body like a little Amazon, she can go on and on
and on.


Sticky and Sweet Photos from Chicago

Special thanks to AMY for  sharing these photos with Madonnasworld.com!

link 1

link 2

Madonna and Guy Ritchie signed 'behaviour contract' in bid to save marriage

Madonna and Guy Ritchie signed up to a 'contract' dictating their behaviour to
try to save their marriage, it has been alleged.

Madonna, 50, is said to have insisted her husband stick to a set of
rules, that included the command: "Guy must work to enrich his wife's
emotional and spiritual well-being."

Other parts of the
'contract', allegedly drawn up after seeing a marriage guidance
counsellor two years ago, included that he must "resolve conflicts in a
constructive way" and that "Guy must never shout at his wife," it was

He also had to "set aside time to read Kabbalah texts" to his wife, it has been claimed.

agreed to "devote time to sexual expressiveness", while the rules also
stated: "We must not use sex as a stick to beat one another."

If Mr Ritchie, 40, broke the rules, Madonna would say "Contract, Guy, contract" according to sources.

Earlier this month a spokesman for the couple confirmed they were to divorce, after almost eight years of marriage.

The last few years of their marriage were dogged by persistent rumours that their relationship was under strain.

Tuesday it was claimed that Mr Ritchie, the film director of gangster
movie Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, had rejected a £20 million
divorce settlement offered by the singer.

Besides the money, the couple are said to be arguing about where their children will live.

They have a seven-year-old son together, Rocco, as well as adopted Malawian David Banda, three.

is understood Madonna wants them to live with her and her daughter
Lourdes, 12, in New York, while Ritchie wants them educated in England.

source: UK Telegraph

Ulrika: 'Guy to blame not Madonna'

Everybodys got an opinon

Morgan weighs in on Madonna divorce

Rex Features

Piers Morgan has become the latest celebrity to voice his opinion on Madonna's divorce from Guy Ritchie.

The Britain's Got Talent judge claimed that the cultural differences between Americans and Brits had driven the couple apart.

"I'm sure the gym, Kabbalah and foreign-baby obsessions grew insanely annoying over the eight years they were together," the Daily Mail
quoted him as saying. "But I suspect that in the end it was the massive
gulf between the British and American senses of humour that finally did
for poor Guy."

Ulrika Jonsson yesterday accused Ritchie of being "emotionally constipated", while the popstar's brother Christopher Ciccone claimed that Kabbalah was to blame for the split.


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Imaginary Eavesdropping on Madonna and A-Rod

For the past few months there's been a lot of gossip about Alex Rodriguez and Madonna. Did he have a part in the dissolution of their marriage? Is he moving to be closer to her on the Upper West Side? Is she really his "fucking soul mate, dude"? Physically it made sense — A-Rod's penchant for muscular blondes is well-known, and Madonna's lust for muscular Latin dudes is not undocumented (Carlos Leon, anyone?). But something's been gnawing at us: What on earth do they talk about? Madonna may not be the best actress or director, but she's smart as a whip and she notoriously doesn't suffer fools gladly. A-Rod, on the other hand, is a giant orange-colored dildo with 553 home runs.

So, in order to try and fully understand, Daily Intel's Chris and Jessica attempted the near impossible: channeling the two cultural icons. Below is a conversation between the two of them, as we imagine it.

[Late at night. Madonna and Alex are in the kitchen of her Upper West Side duplex. Neither of them seem quite sure what to do there — it's been a long time since either has had to cook. Still, this room is far away from the children's rooms, and they can finally talk in peace. Problem is, neither seems to know what to say.]

A-Rod: So, um, I've been meditating on the Sefirot about what to do in this situation.
Madonna: What "situation?" We don't have a bleeding "situation."

A-Rod: I just mean that you're going through this thing with your divorce. And I just went through my divorce. And it's like it's doubly hard, because we're soul mates. Because my soul is intertwined with yours, it's like I have been through two divorces, and you have, too. So really it's like we've been through four divorces altogether. So really it's quadruply hard.
Madonna: I don't know why you have to make such a big deal about it. It's so dull. Everyone radically changes their identity every few years. That's what people do.
A-Rod: That might just be you, Esther.
Madonna: Why do you keep calling me that, you arse?
A-Rod: Because that's your Kabbalah name. I'm trying to take this stuff very seriously.
Madonna: Cor, you're dim. You don't need to talk about it all the time — you just need to be photographed going in and out of Kabbalah centers, and wearing tracksuits.
A-Rod: Oh.
Madonna: So why'd you come over, anyway?
A-Rod: To be with you?
Madonna: [Swears under her breath.] Do you mean to fuck? If that's what you mean, we might jolly get on with it.
A-Rod: Not necessarily to fuck. I mean, I love it when you talk dirty, mami, but I just wanted to be with you. We don't have to have sex.
Madonna: Rubbish. What else would we do?
A-Rod: We could talk?
Madonna: [Very long pause. Walks to refrigerator, pulls a bottle of Stoli out of the freezer and takes a long pull from it. Puts it back, without offering A-Rod any. He watches in delight.] What would we talk about?
A-Rod: What are your hopes, what are your dreams?
Madonna: [Exasperated.] I'm MADONNA.
A-Rod: Well, what were you like when you were younger? Like when you lived in Miami?
Madonna: God, you always try to steer the conversation back to when I was a lesbian.
A-Rod: Fine. Let's talk about something else. What about Guy Oseary?
Madonna: What about him?
A-Rod: Well, he's my manager too now. But I'm tired of being bossed around by my own management. He made me look like a greedy asshole during the World Series last year. What's the trick to getting him to behave?
Madonna: Pretending to be a lesbian.
A-Rod: Um, okay.
Madonna: Seriously, I could call Ingrid Caseres for you. It worked for me.
A-Rod: No, thanks.
Madonna: Britney Spears?
A-Rod: Is she still fat?
Madonna: Crikey, I don't know. I suppose so. Everyone's fat these days. Have you seen those Olsen twins? Plump as Christmas hams. That's why I don't eat or drink the water in America.
A-Rod: You have self-control. That's one of the reasons I love you and you're my fucking soul mate.
Madonna: [Brightens up.] I'm on a new diet of only fish oil!
A-Rod: I've been meaning to ask you, how do you get the muscles on your legs so defined that you actually have dents in your thighs?
Madonna: I leg-press 350.
A-Rod: Holy frijole.

[There's another pause. Out of boredom, they commence with fantastic sex. Scene.]


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New wedding pic with the kids

Sandra Bernhard disses Madonna, channels Sarah Palin

From chicagotribune.com

See the link for the full article, but the Madonna mention is this:

Bernhard is, of course, a mother now, and her tours are more isolated gigs than long road sojourns where she gets more easily into manic groove. And this brilliant stream-of-what’s-on-her-mind performer is now talking about hamsters and cupcakes. If you remember, say, her “I’m Still Here… Dammit” tour from the 1990s, all that gives you pause. But life marches scarily on. Her audience has aged. And time has increased her vulnerability and honesty.

At one hysterical, full-circle moment last night, Bernhard recounted hearing Madonna instructing her kid, “you have to learn to share.”

“Pot,” Bernhard said, wickedly, like the old times, “meet kettle.”

Ritchie turns down Madonna’s £20m offer

t doesn't look like Madonna and Guy Ritchie's divorce is going be an uncomplicated affair. According to the singer's biographer, J Randy Taraborrelli, the pair are said to be rowing over where their children - Rocco, seven, and adopted David Banda,
three - will live and be educated, and Ritchie is said to have turned
down flat a one-off settlement offer of £20 million made by the singer.

Taraborrelli has told Hello! magazine that Madonna, 50, wants the two boys to live with her and Lourdes,
her 12-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, in New York. But
Ritchie, 40, is said to prefer that the children go to school in London.

Taraborrelli: "There was a great deal of haggling about this matter
last week, with Madonna upping the amount of Guy's settlement to more
than £20million in hopes that he would acquiesce." He added that they
are "not even speaking to each other. They communicate only through

Taraborrelli, who appears to be acting as an unofficial
spokesman for Madonna
, also said that the two now have very few friends
in common. A source is said to have told him: "Madonna was never very
fond of Guy's pals. She found them uninteresting and dull. She even
used the word 'common' to describe them. And for his part, Guy always
felt the conversation was forced and pretentious with many of Madonna's

Meanwhile, it appears that Ritchie did not take his
wife's Kabbalah religion as seriously as everyone supposed. The film
director has stopped an order for specially blessed "Kaballah water"
that was destined to fill the pool of the couple's Wiltshire estate,
despite the fact the cancelled order could cost him as much as £10,000.

A source told the Daily Mirror:
"He [Ritchie] partly blames Kabbalah for the deterioration of their
marriage, so the last thing he wants is an Olympic pool-sized reminder
of the religion."


WIFLFAG Spanish Style

I met the person who translated Madonnas song What it Feels Like for a Gir " Lo Que Siente la Mujer"l, and he told me that in the song, Madonna takes a pause during the song, where she shouldn't but you dont go and tell the queen shes doing something wrong!

The same thing happened when she recorded BEDTIME STORY for BJORK, bjork had complained that the version Madonna sings isnt the same way that she had given it to her.

No matter, we still love Madonna!

Thought you'd might like that story.

Madonna is pop art


Madonna, shortly before breaking yet another religious taboo. Photograph: PA

has always held a unique fascination for me: the myth, the legend, but
not the truth. Who cares about Madonna "the person"? Her impending divorce is only of interest in terms of how she packages it into the Madonna Myth.

what a myth! A dancer from Detroit, coming to New York City with $35 in
her pocket, no contacts, and dropped by a taxi driver in Times Square
after a request to be "'where the action is" to go on and dictate popular culture
for the next 30 years? Madonna and Michael Jackson invented the Queen
and King of Pop, and took the ideas of rock'n'roll myth-making into the
pop world.

In 1992, I met Jackson; he was playing an eight run
show at the Tokyo Dome and I was there with Bobby Gillespie. Gillespie
wanted to attend the shows and meet the man but was denied by Sony, who
thought he was too uncontrollable and off his head on drugs (ironic
considering that I was doing more drugs than Bob at the time). It was
pure religious spectacle being in an arena with 50,000 Jackson fans in
the midst of pop hysteria. After the show, I was taken to meet Jackson
and it was like having an audience with the Pope. It was pure dada; you
were taken behind a screen where you had your photograph taken with

However, I've never wanted to meet Madonna. Madonna
the spectacle, yes. Madonna, the cultural provocateur, yes. Madonna,
the producer, not creator, yes. Madonna, the person, no. It's almost as
if she is incapable of being anything other than Madonna The Myth,
something she has created. I love it. Who would want to meet Madonna
when the myth has a more fantastic life of its own?

You could
blame the myth on the cab driver who dropped her off where the action
was hot. In '77 NYC (the year of Punk, Disco and Madonna) there was an
art revolution going on: Television, Blondie, Arthur Russell, Larry Levine's Paradise Garage, the Ramones,
disco, punk rock, club culture and, of course, the godfather of New
York City, Andy Warhol. Warhol has held sway over her entire career.
Madonna, like Warhol, is the ultimate observer of, rather than
participant in, modern culture. She took Warhol's template of ambition
and success being an art form and regenerated it into a pop career
presented not only as art, but a mirror on society, reflecting our
tastes and aspirations; whether it be the yuppie life of Material Girl
to the pre-00 new age observations of Ray of Light. Her reinventions
are a reflection of us, not her, as she has always lacked a 'grand
purpose' or 'natural conclusion' of most rock'n'roll stories.

is at her best when exploiting religion and sex to court controversy.
The woman has been banned by countries! Countries! The woman used a black Jesus,
self inflicted stigmatas, and danced in a field of burning crosses in
order to sell Pepsi! Total pop genius. Is Madonna even sexy? Madonna
'sexy' is parody and camp, yet she regularly presents herself as sex
object and deviant to middle America and MTV. Dressed as a dominatrix, kissing Britney and Christine Aguilera?
Check. A 50-year-old in a leotard disco dancing in a dark club
combating ageism in rock and doing it with style? Check. Cross-dressing
and getting dangerously close to transvestism in Vogue? Check. It's sex
for profit! It's sex as camp! It's sex as parody!

In the early
90s, she took sex too far for even America. But she still knew how to
turn controversy into profit, and when Justify my Love was banned by
MTV, she publicised the ban and sold the video separately. She somehow also found time to accidentally invent rock'n'roll reality television with her documentary In Bed with Madonna.

After the Sex debacle, she reinvented herself as Madonna, the Serious Artist with Bedtime Stories (and collaborations with Bjork)
and Ray of Light; consolidating it with the Mirwais-produced Music in
2000 (the only time I've got involved with Madonna is the chase for
Mirwais, her producer - we wanted him for Creation Records, however she
signed him up to Maverick).

She went too far with American
Life, though. Madonna tried to change the world and failed (Madonna
could never be Jesus Christ - or John Lennon - with a message; after
all her message for 30 years has been 'Hey, how hot is Jesus?'). Warhol
never delivered a moral message and neither should Madonna; she went
back to basics and the dancefloor with Confessions on a Dance Floor and
Hard Candy.

A friend sent me over a passage from Madonna's
brother's tell-all biography My Life with Sister Madonna. She said it
offers no real revelations and was trashy (with the rumour being
Madonna approved it ... genius!), but the brother's statement "I fear
she no longer has any boundaries, any limits. Everyone and everything
is grist for the publicity mill, fodder for her career - even our late
mother". The passage was supposed to be a damning indictment, but
ending up being a succinct reading of Madonna's career. Madonna is
post-modern art, the likes of which we will never see again.


You must love Madonna

Smiles don't come easily for Madonna.

Instead, there are usually smirks, sneers, pouts, leers and thin-lipped,
tough-as-nails displays of contempt for anyone who would dare mess with
her. Madonna, she's one tough dominatrix, and she's got better
developed biceps than just about any of the fans who filled the United Center on Sunday for the first of two concerts.

smile she did Sunday, and often. Madonna having fun onstage? Exuding
warmth rather than wielding a riding crop? Yes, it happened, a
refreshing break from recent tours that presented a woman on a
take-no-prisoners mission.

Consider the 50-year-old singer's
three-decade history as a performer: Her dancing, endurance and
high-concept sets are never less than ambitious. But usually they have
all the spontaneity of a big-budget Broadway musical.

Her tours
are always technically impressive, and this one was no exception, a
four-part blitz of video, dances with 16 accomplices and costume
changes involving (no lie) "3,500 individual wardrobe elements,"
according to a tour guide. And there were the usual canned vocals;
about half the time, the massive "voice" coming out of the
public-address system had little to do with the performer onstage.

again the line between live performance and hyper-stylized MTV video
was blurred—a concept Madonna practically invented in the '80s.

many ways, the "Sticky & Sweet" tour is more of the same. But it
was less muddled by high-concept statements, and threw itself into a
low-concept sweat. Here was a show that sustained an "Into the
Groove"-like party vibe for nearly two straight hours. Big Ideas were
conspicuously absent, save for a dunderheaded video interlude equating
a certain presidential candidate with fascists and mass murderers and
another candidate with saints and liberators.

Madonna switched off her brain and flipped on the mirror-ball switch.
She muscled up to push a car full of dancers, then impersonated Joan Jett with an electric guitar-driven version of "Borderline." Much headbanging ensued.

fun quotient was never higher than on "She's Not Me," with the singer
interacting with four dancers dolled up like Madonnas of the past,
including the "Like a Virgin" tease in a wedding dress and her
platinum-haired Marilyn Monroe incarnation.

slowed a bit during the third segment, with a shrouded performer atop a
piano in a cagelike cylinder, but peaked with a celebratory "La Isla
Bonita," complete with flamenco string band. A beaming Madonna strutted
arm in arm with a retinue of female dancers, and it was almost possible
to see her not as a pop icon, a hard-edged diva, but as the ringleader
of a gang. Of course, she ruined that illusion by slipping into her big
"Evita" ballad, "You Must Love Me," which sounded more like a demand
than a plea.

No matter. "Like a Prayer" soon rolled in, and
then Madonna took requests. She stumbled through a few lines of
"Beautiful Stranger," then got back on script by strapping on her
guitar for a heavy metal "Hung Up." This was Madonna doing disco with
feedback firing and devil horns flashing. Once again, she was grinning,
this time like a 15-year-old listening to an AC/DC eight-track in the
high school parking lot.

It's a good look.


Guy Ritchie cancels Madonna's order to fill swimming pool with Kabbalah water

Guy Ritchie and Madonna together in happier days Photo: Reuters

Mr Ritchie, the film director, has stopped the order for the 'special water' for the pool at their Wiltshire estate.

The couple announced they are to divorce after seven years of marriage this month. Mr Ritchie will be keeping the country house, it has been reported.

The 40 year old has insisted that the pool should be filled with normal chlorinated water, not Kabbalah water as requested by the singer.

Madonna is a devoted follower of Kabbalah, the mystical belief system based on Jewish teachings, and has donated millions to the Kabbalah Centre led by Rabbi Philip Berg.

Kabbalah water which is blessed "has the power to to return water to its primordial state of completely positive, healing energy", according to the organisation's website.

It has been suggested that cancelling the order could cost Mr Ritchie £10,000.

"There would also have been water fountains dotted around, again filled with Kabbalah water. It would have cost a small fortune, but obviously money for Madonna isn't really an issue," a source told the Daily Mirror.

"Since splitting, though, they've agreed to let Guy keep the country home – meaning he can do what he wants with it.

"One of the first things he's insisted on is scrapping the ridiculous pool plans. He partly blames Kabbalah for the deterioration of their marriage, so the last thing he wants is an Olympic pool-sized reminder of the religion."


Madonna Dropping Breakup clues

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Madonna takes over the states

check back often for video footage, from recent concert dates, including , NJ, NY, Boston, and much more to come!!
Right click and save as
1- video clip by VENNY (NJ Oct 4 'GIVE IT TO ME')
2- hd video clip by JEANNIE (NJ Oct 4 'Give it to Me')

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Madonna Montreal Review by Stephen

I was lucky and scored two front row tickets to
Madonna's first Montreal Show. I was able to interact with her-here is what
happened: Myself, and my partner decided to put on Sarah Palin Sucks shirts for
the show. Madonna's opinion on her is the same as ours so we thought they
would be perfect for the concert.  Madonna read my shirt and mouthed to me
that she liked it. During Into The Groove, she came over and shook both of our
hands! The best part was when the request section came she was asked to do
Express Yourself. After she finished she said to the audience- "You know who
else is expressing themselves? Those guys over there in the t-shirts." she then
said "I think they should express themselves!" after that, she got her camera
man to put us up on all the video screens and everyone cheered. Later, when I
thought it couldn't get better she came over and slapped our hands, sang a
chorus of Like A Prayer directly to me, and then winked! This is my seventh time
seeing Madonna and she was better than ever! Her voice was amazing, interaction
with the crowd in entirety was great, the dancers were so talented, and
choreography for Vogue and Give It To Me were solid. For anyone that was
worrying Sticky & Sweet couldn't compete with Confessions-it can! Wow
Madonna, thanks for the amazing experience!


Stephen Filek, Halifax Nova Scotia,

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Ciara Supports Madonna Through Guy Ritchie Divorce

Ciara is supporting Madonna through her divorce from Guy Ritchie and she feels the Queen of Pop is strong enough to cope.

"She's a megastar, and that goes with the territory," Ciara says of Madonna to OK! Magazine. "But she's definitely put her foot down as a woman over the years and she's proven to be one of the best to me. She'll make it through - she's been doing this for a long time."

Ciara is currently working on her next album, rumored to be called 'Fantasy Ride'. Collaborations for the project have already been recorded with T-Pain, Lil Jon, Rodney "Darkchild" Jerkins and Ludacris.

Ciara Supports Madonna Through Guy Ritchie Divorce

Where Madonna Does it Better

Madonna goes back in time, around the world

After all those personas, musical styles, what's left?

For the Average Joe, plumber or no, an identity crisis is a private
thing, aided by psychological therapy and a lot of pharmaceuticals.

But for Madonna, an identity crisis takes a different toll: Mock catharsis before about 35,000 fans.

At the United Center Sunday, the first of two stops on her current
Sticky and Sweet Tour, Madonna confronted the multiple identities she's
rotated through since 1982. Using "She's Not Me," a new song, she
redirected the lyrics sung from the perspective of a jilted lover to
four dancers costumed in the iconic images of her past hits: the virgin
in the wedding dress, the "Material Girl" starlet, the blonde with
ambition in the conical bra and the "Vogue" ingenue.

Each was assaulted by the present day incarnation. She ripped off
their wigs, tore their dresses and otherwise thrashed against her past,
which was finally killed -- appropriately -- by a kiss. And suffocation
by bridal veil.

Madonna is a master of disguise, but even at age 50 she manages to
elude. Recent news of her divorce did not make it to the stage -- well,
suffocating her dancer in that bridal veil may have meant something --
because her current, and perhaps most lasting, manifestation is that of
a stone-faced aerobics master who finds pleasure in choreographed

After playing every role and foraging every musical style, what's
left? Many of Madonna's favorite roles were reprised on this tour, but
few felt freshly renewed. Most worn is her role as global messenger. A
video interlude flashed images of world poverty and benevolent
celebrities, but the underlying message of saving the world rang
hollow. A more credible gesture may have been hosting tables in the
lobby advocating Darfur relief, instead of images of emaciated children
set to disco beats.

A good part of the show was dedicated to Eastern European music --
which included a gypsy band performing the Spanish-language "La Isla
Bonita," which led to a cantina sequence and "You Must Love Me," a
ballad from "Evita." It was commendable how she transformed a part of
her catalog that seemed most unshakable, but mixing all languages,
dress, and musical styles made the sequence feel like global clutter.

Madonna is still best served on the dance floor. Almost two hours
long, the show mostly consisted of songs from "Hard Candy" (Warner
Bros.), a new album that combined hip-hop swagger and hard beats.

Older songs were remixed to keep up: "Into the Groove" and "Like a
Prayer" thumped more intensely than ever. Strapping on a guitar, she
also reminded the audience she came of age in the punk era:
"Borderline," her first Top Ten hit from 1984, became raucous pop-punk.

The most impressive sequence of the night was the return to the old
school. Keith Haring characters danced in animation in the background
while dancers break-danced and a DJ spun hip-hop. Together they looked
like the cast of "Fame" and Madonna looked less the elder than just one
of the gang.

She proved it too: Joining in the jump-rope line, she did the Double
Dutch like she was 16, ending with her hands raised in victory.

"You can't touch this!" she yelled in a dare, less about sweat and more about stamina.

source: SUN TIMES